And you know what? It's okay to not be okay.

This week has been a real struggle. On the outside, I am trying to keep up appearances, smiling and nodding along with conversations, but inside, I am feeling like a mess. Sometimes, I feel like I have got this tough facade going on, like I am always expected to be the strong one, but honestly, I am just trying to figure out what's the right way to deal with all this grief. I mean, let us be real, having Cancer is a kind of grief in itself, right? So, how do we even begin to handle it?

I have been seeing examples of dealing with grief everywhere lately, and that is why I am bringing up this thing called the "Eightfold Fence". Yeah, I know, it might sound a bit out there, but bear with me. I came across this concept while watching Shōgun on Hulu (I am a bit of a fan, I will admit). In the series, they talk about the Eightfold Fence as this mental barrier that Japanese people are taught to create, like a fortress in their minds where they can still hold onto their individuality and control, even when everything around them feels chaotic and overwhelming. It is like a form of meditation mixed with compartmentalization if you will. And get this, the idea of the Eightfold Fence is not just some made-up TV drama. It's rooted in this ancient Japanese poem from way back in 712 AD, where they talk about Japan (the people) being able to separate themselves from the real world and transform into another realm, keeping them safe from harm. Pretty deep stuff, right? It is like a powerful coping mechanism.

But here is the thing, it is not just the Japanese who have these coping mechanisms. Look at different cultures, and you will find similar practices. Take Buddhism, for instance. Their whole deal is centered around meditation. And then there's Christian meditation, Daoism, Hinduism, Jainism—you name it. Even secular traditions like counseling centers and schools have adopted forms of meditation for mental and emotional well-being.

So, when we are talking about the healthy way to cope, maybe meditation is not such a bad shout after all, huh? Whether it is the Eightfold Fence, Buddhist meditation, or any other form of contemplation, these practices offer us a way to find peace amidst life's storms. Maybe, just maybe, in embracing these diverse methods of coping, we can find a common thread that binds us together—a thread of resilience, of inner strength, and of hope for brighter days ahead. And you know what? It is okay to not be okay. In the midst of all this struggle, it's alright to acknowledge that things aren't perfect. We are only human, after all, and we are allowed to feel the full spectrum of emotions. So, let us embrace the journey, the ups, and the downs, knowing that it is all part of the process.

I'll admit, I'm willing to try anything at this point. I'm tired of feeling so sad, so alone, so emotional. Maybe meditation is the right choice after all. It's stood the test of millennia; there must be something promising about it. So, here's to giving it a shot and finding a glimmer of peace in the chaos.