Discovering "The Four Agreements": My Journey of Self-Discovery and Retraining My Mind

People are often shocked when I tell them that I do not really like to read. When I do read, though, I am typically fascinated by what I discover. I guess people are surprised because I love to research but reading and researching are not the same thing. In research, I can review 20 different books and extract the material I need to make my point. When I read, or at least when I READ, I am completely and utterly immersed in the book.

My husband recommended a book called “The Four Agreements.” I am reading it slowly because I do not want to miss anything and often find myself rereading sections as I go. The reason he recommended it was because we were having a conversation about why I am so hard on myself. He made a comment like, “You need to try and reprogram the way you think,” or at least “adjust it.” He then asked if I had ever read this book, which I had not.

So, what did I do? I borrowed the book, and now I am only on Chapter One. I plan to write about each chapter as I go, and I highly recommend the book. First, why am I hard on myself? Well, I tend to have a lot of guilt about everything and am constantly punishing myself. Why do I do this? I do not know. It has gotten worse after my cancer diagnosis, and I find myself feeling constantly sad.

So, why did this book draw me in? The first chapter is about the "Domestication of Humans." It talks about how society imposes its beliefs and values onto individuals, starting in childhood, and heavily influencing our perception of reality. The author argues that we inherit a collective "dream of the planet," a set of beliefs and expectations that shape our behaviors and decisions. Becoming aware of this conditioning is the first step towards personal freedom. By recognizing and challenging these ingrained beliefs, we can start to live authentically and break free from societal constraints.

Umm, so hello, this is me. I completely resonate with this train of thought. I feel that I have been conditioned to feel this way. And no, I am not blaming my parents or some old trauma. I am not blaming anyone. I just need to start retraining myself. I am excited to find the process. The book talks about "mitote," defining it as "the chaos of a thousand voices all trying to talk at once in the mind." This is my mind all the time. Let us get the voices to shut up.