Finding Positives in the Journey: How Brain Cancer Became a Positive Experience

I receive many messages through my blog, which I love. Recently, someone asked me—or maybe it was more of a statement—"Does brain cancer ever have a positive side? You seem to focus on the negative." Everyone is entitled to their opinion. First, I believe that many people with brain cancer or any terminal diagnosis try to sugarcoat it, thinking that if they ignore the issues, they will go away. I also think some people are not as in touch with their emotions or as articulate about them as I am. If I were to talk to you, it might be different because I prefer to hide behind the pen. I find it easier to type or write out my emotions than to talk about them. So, I wanted to address this on many different levels.

First, I do not believe there is anything inherently positive about brain cancer. But second, this journey has affected me in many positive ways. Let me explain:

Community: Another glioblastoma patient once told me, "This is the best club that no one wants to be part of." This is true in so many ways. I have met so many wonderful people through this group, people with an indomitable hope and light that is truly magical. Some of these bonds will last forever, and I cherish them.

Spirituality: I am not walking around reciting psalms, but my outlook on spirituality and religion has been completely altered by this experience. I have chosen to embrace and run towards it rather than away from it. This is deeply personal so I will keep this short, and each person needs to find their own path.

Family: This experience has taught me to cherish my family more deeply. You only get one family, and they are with you until you leave this world. Make time for them. When you learn that your time may be limited, you realize that jobs and meetings can wait. You are not that busy in the grand scheme of things. Talk to your mom and dad. Hug your sibling. These moments are precious and limited.

Spouse: We all get old, and we all have things happen to us. Looks fade, certain parts of the body may not work as well as they did when you were twenty (not talking about me), we lose hair, and memory fades. But if you have someone like I do, who is always by your side, that is your rock. Do not let bumps in the road get in the way of love. Give grace to your spouse. This experience has made me appreciate my husband more than anything.

Myself: I've left this one for last. I have never learned more about myself than when I found out I had limited time. This has made some things better and some worse. I have discovered a deep sense of what truly makes me happy. Life should be lived for you, not for your family, husband, friends, or anyone you are trying to impress. It is for you. I am making changes to learn what makes Jonathan, Jonathan. It is hard, and it is a process, but it is important to look inward.

In closing, there is nothing positive about cancer itself, but what can be learned is how you move forward from something negative. That, in turn, can help you flip the script on this cancer journey and make it a positive experience.