Ramblings of the Cancer Insomniac

So here I am, starting this blog post at 3:26 AM. Let us see how coherent I can make this, considering the hour. There is a lot about cancer that nobody tells you, isn't there? I mean, is it really the doctor's job to fill you in on all the little details and quirks? It is not like there is some Cancer Guru following you around, giving you the lowdown on what to expect at every turn.

Anyway, the reason I am awake right now? It is the relentless gurgling of my stomach and the non-stop fidgeting of my fifteen-year-old Chihuahua (Peanut) who seems to be having a vivid dream next to me. Maybe he is picking up on my discomfort somehow.

As part of my treatment, I must take a drug called Temodar. It is chemo, plain and simple. And then, because radiation has messed with my head, they have put me on another drug called Memantine, which is usually used for people with dementia. Great, right? Both of these meds are known to cause stomach issues, and they've been keeping me up at night. The silver lining? Temodar is only taken for five days, but the catch is that the dose is three times what I am used to because the goal is to basically poison the cancer out of my body. So here I am, wide awake, with a stomachache, and that is why I am writing this.

I made a promise to myself when I started this blog: to educate, motivate, and stay positive. So, here is the educational part: make sure you understand your meds and find ways to cope. For me, making a cup of lavender tea with Laird and Manuka honey tends to help me drift back to sleep. Now, onto motivation: fellow warriors, it does get easier. Do not give up. Our end goal is the same: to stay alive and keep fighting. Lastly, staying positive. That is the toughest part, but that is why I write. It is my outlet, and it truly helps me. My tea is done steeping. Good night.