Selective Friendships: The Art of Quality Over Quantity

I do not have a lot of friends. I know, shocking, right? With my razor-sharp wit and charming personality radiating from this blog, you would think people would be lining up to be my buddy. But no, that is not the case. The truth is the main reason I do not have many friends is... me. It is not because I am unkind or a bad person; it is because I am picky. And the older I get, the pickier I become. Also, let’s face it: people can be real assholes.

Someone recently asked if having very few friends bothered me. Honestly, I did not really care much about it until I got cancer. You know how they say close relationships are crucial for happiness? Well, when I was diagnosed, I was in a dark place, and that idea started to make a lot more sense. It is not about the number of friends you have but the quality of the people you let into your life. My best friend is my husband. This guy has been through hell and back with me—he slept on a cold hospital couch for five days, donned a onesie, and danced around to make me laugh while I was hooked up to machines, desperately trying not to cry. He tells me every day about how wonderful I am and how much he loves me. I have always found it odd when couples don't consider their spouse their best friend. I don’t know who I would be without him or how lost I would feel—he is my rock.

For me, a true friend must meet a high bar. They need to show genuine interest in my life, listen to what I have to say, and care about how I think and feel. They must accept me for who I am, and these qualities must be reciprocated. But do they have to be perfect? Heck no. Take me, for instance—I am a terrible listener. I am always thinking about what I want to say next. It is a flaw, something I am working on, because I am not perfect, and a true friend understands that.

So, there you have it. My small circle of friends is not due to any lack of charm or personality on my part. It is a combination of my own high standards and the often-disappointing nature of people. In the end, what matters most is not the quantity of friends but the quality of the relationships we cultivate. And in that department, I am doing just fine.