Unveiling the Magic: How Disneyland Became the Catalyst for Honest Conversations

Why did this trip to Disneyland provide me a much-needed dose of relaxation and therapy?

When you have something really hard in your life, sometimes the easiest way to deal with it is to hide it. I am an expert at compartmentalizing my feelings. Some say that this is bad, but I think it is amazing because it has allowed me to be more successful than I could have been if I had not learned how to do this at a young age. Psychology Today defines compartmentalization as a “defense mechanism in which people mentally separate conflicting thoughts, emotions, or experiences to avoid the discomfort of contradiction.” Hmmmm, so broken down, that means “it is like having different boxes in your mind. When you have thoughts or feelings that do not get along, you put them in separate boxes, so they do not fight and make you feel bad.” Make sense?

Now, you may ask, how does a trip to Disneyland work into all of this? Well, since my diagnosis, I have not been as honest with my husband as I should have been. I hid a lot of my feelings, and in some ways, I even took out a lot of my anger on him, making us clash and fight to the point we did not talk. We always make up, of course, but this cycle would repeat itself, making it unhealthy for us to be around each other.

Disneyland, to me and my husband, is a safe place. We have been going there together for over ten years. We fell in love at Disneyland, I proposed to him at Disneyland, and we have our best memories from Disneyland, spending countless holidays in the park.

Disneyland gave me the safe space to come clean, to tell him how I was feeling. We made a pact not to keep things from each other. It is so hard to be brutally honest with people, especially your spouse. I hate keeping things from him, and this cancer has been so hard to mentally deal with. Part of the problem was that I had built such a strong wall around this box in my head – I dubbed it the “Cancer Box,” its exterior boldly marked with a warning: “Do Not Open” in vibrant red ink.

But this trip, I opened it. We cried, we talked, we made up, and, even more importantly, we heard each other for the first time in six months. That is why this trip was so magical.

In the end, this trip to Disneyland was more than just a getaway; it was a turning point. It reminded me of the importance of being open and honest with the people you love, no matter how tough it is. Keeping things bottled up only makes the burden heavier and creates distance between you and your loved ones. Talking to my husband about my feelings and struggles lifted a weight off my shoulders and brought us closer together. I know this sounds so simple, and like common sense, but it is not always as easy to see when you are in the middle of it. So, if you are going through something hard, do not build walls around your feelings. Let the people who love you in – they are there to help you carry the load. This trip showed me that even in the happiest place on earth, the real magic comes from facing life’s challenges together.

These are my five takeaways and the lessons I am going to try to incorporate into my life:

1.      Compartmentalizing Can Be Helpful, But Not Always Healthy: While separating your emotions into different mental boxes can help you cope in the short term, it is important to recognize when it is causing more harm than good by creating distance in your relationships.

2.      Open Communication is Essential: Being honest about your feelings with your loved ones, even when it is difficult, is crucial for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. It can prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.

3.      Find a Safe Space for Tough Conversations: Having a familiar and comforting environment, like Disneyland was for us, can make it easier to open about hard topics. It helps create a sense of security that encourages honesty.

4.      Do not Underestimate the Power of Vulnerability: Sharing your struggles and fears with someone you trust can be incredibly liberating. It allows you to release pent-up emotions and can strengthen the bond with your partner.

5.      Facing Challenges Together is Key: Life's hardships are easier to bear when you tackle them as a team. Letting your loved ones support you can lead to deeper understanding and mutual resilience, reinforcing that you do not have to go through it alone.